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{Sunday, January 31, 2010 , 11:29:00 PM} wonder if they or even you can tolerate my nonsense cause not everyone can. This really freaked me out. Unsure what got into me lately.. I feel so pathetic with people dearly to me seems to change and drifting away from me. Maybe this is not true, but this is what i feel and what i see. A week without hp. As you know, it's hard for me to live without hp. Way too hard and people been complaining on how hard for them to keep in touch with me. Sorry about that. Meanwhile, I get to experience on how people who really make their effort in trying their all best to find me. See if they willing to go far finding me. But always, the least people you expect turns to be the people who actually manage go beyond the people you expected to search you. Tsk. To you, I'm sorry for being nonsensical girl all this while. Sorry if i always troubled you. I’m sorry for always ended up hurting you in all way. Hm i really don’t know how to put this, the exact feeling i feel & bothering me but seriously, i don't know how. Maybe it’s not the time yet. Not now. {Saturday, January 30, 2010 , 10:48:00 PM}     Beach Fiesta. I went together with friends from Guitar Club because my dearly bestfriends didn’t tag along & very much hard to contact with Syirah too. We were there not to be part of the carnival actually.. but to support out Show Choir and Dancers but we reached late & missed Choir’s show. For the dancers, that was smexy-dance! Anyway, the worst part of the day was that I can hardly find any shades that i could hide from the scorching sun, major killer! Settled down and the boys off to the sea. Awhile later, came friends from Percussion.. Most of them had fun in the sea while i sat and watched them from our port. If not, i’ll be walking around taking pictures. Okay, i love my camera alot! LOL! They really enjoyed themselves. Extremely kecoh! Don’t know where the rest went to, so, Me Sufie Irfan and Haikal walked around the carnival.. then played only one game out of more than 10 games there because it can’t stand the hotness and to wait for our turn. PANASSSSS! Then felt much tired and adding to my haywire, i asked them to go change and off to somewhere more chilling. Irfan planned to go Resort World but canceled bcos im too tired again hehe. Been craving cheeseburger since morning but since majority wanted Banquet for dinner, so im fine with it. At the end of the day, im too exhausted. Thank you Nasy and Azie for willingly entertained me taking pictures. Irfan for the treat, trying best to fulfill whatever i want and for taking good care of me, including the rest too.. nice of you people :) Thanks for tolerating my nonsense especially, since morning till i off. Also for concerned about me during i was staring into empty space. :D After dinner, i don’t feel good.. off back home and the rest went to slack at Vivo. Before heading home, went Mac to have my cheese burger. LOL! { , 1:08:00 AM}    Currently going crazy over this cute boy over here!Why oh.. why.. you're such an eye-candy boy!! I loves your songs, voice and especially your too-much-adorable look ;D You make my heart meltttsssss! What are you made from? Ahahs, cuteness you! Nak gigit2 jer, boleh Justin? {Wednesday, January 27, 2010 , 11:46:00 PM} CRANKY ME! I'm tired, greatly. Tired with almost everything. Tsk :// Bye. {Sunday, January 24, 2010 , 11:26:00 PM}    No pictures taken with the birthday girl. She busy swimming and havin' fun with her cousins and friends. HAPPY 12th BIRTHDAY HIDAYAH!! Anyway, i was alittle awkward­ at first hehehs.. but thanks to Leana's family for treating me as part of them. Such an easy going and happening families. Her aunties and uncles is crazyyy! Especially that uncle. I don't his name but he sure have Pak Bon's personality, one of M'sia famous comedy actor. The way he speaks amused me even when he's in serious tone. Ahahs! Btw, thanks for the ride uncle! Sorry eh, kite nie bodoh bnyk part selok belok road ni hehes!  So sorry Leana for not overnight with you today. Feel bad but see you tomorrow in school babe! And BIG thank you to you for feeding me with alot of foods since i reached there, hmph!! Fried prawns, a slide of cake for two different cake, marshmallow, sandwich, nasi, ferrero, especially ayam panggang.. paling bnyk! I'm bloated now. Oh ohhhh.. and thankyou very nice for the special brownies! { , 2:21:00 PM}  Firstly, Happy 19th Birthday to Quraishah! Shall keep it short and sweet here. Somehow i not in a good mood to type lengthy for today. But i bet yesterday outing with the them was sure an awesome one. Celebrated Q's birthday and we tried to make it as nice and memorable as possible. But sorry, no birthday cake from us. But hope you do love the outing and not forgetting the presents too!  Two thing i like about yesterday was when we went into the icebox thingy. (okay i don't what it called). It's at the National Geographic located at Vivo. Damn cool thing.. and i actually freezing inside. The temperature was like minus 12 degree celsius? Shall try it again next time! Feeling2 kat Paris la aku apa lagi hehe! And another was Henderson Wave. First time there and what's more, by the time we reached, it was sunset. Forever beautiful! I love sunset! Maybe we should come abit early to catch it from the beginning.  But towards the end, i went haywire. 'it just don't feel right' Will be going out later.. to Liana's sister birthday party at Pasir Ris. Not sure if i'll be overnight there.. will see how it goes. Maybe head to Bugis first to have a walk alone before proceed to the chalet. Update again soon. Have a nice day everyone! {Saturday, January 23, 2010 , 12:29:00 AM} Now i don't know if i should feel happy or otherwise. Will be going Henderson wave tomorrow celebrating Q's birthday. I've been wanting to go there, just that, i don't know when. Once planned with Leana but we cancelled it. So, if tomorrow we're going, meaning, one of my wish will be fulfilled. BUT! I am damn bloody sad now. I just want to cry OUT LOUD! My handphone is officially gone case! It started with the speaker two weeks ago (can't hear anything.. need to on loud speaker to talk). And then few days ago, was those idiotic keypads. And now, few minutes ago.. i completely cannot on it?! What the ****!! Same case with Shana and Radhiah. This hp is totally nonsense ever! :'(((((((((((((((((((((((((( Okay no mood for anything. TSK! {Thursday, January 21, 2010 , 1:28:00 PM}  Time check : 1.30pm. It's Thursday.. and at this time.. usually i'll be hanging around in school but be surprised, im at home right now. HAHA BONUS!! So, shall update about yesterday and upload picturessss at facebook :D So yesterday, i felt like it was Saturday. Serious serious! Right after class, had my lunch (a slice of toast bread, oreo and seaweeds) and then at 2pm my class (not everyone was there.. ard 12 people) went to Urban Redevelopment Authority. Located somewhere at Tanjung Pagar. Oh well, we don't really care for whatever things they have there. I mean, we did take a look and see how it was built and so and and forth. But, mostly.. all we did was having fun! Picturesss and laughters! I love my mates alot at that moment. You know, sometimes we treat each other as strangers. Sometimes, on of those days.. we can only simply smile and not one word out to say hello. Completely like a stranger. Weird right? No matter how ignorant & hate i feel about them.. i love them still. No answer to why hehes! Then.. off to Orchard. The rest went to their own direction. Me and Liana headed to Orchard. I think i gone mad. I thot of saving money for more other important stuff but i nearly spent like 50bucks. HAHA! Lucky i came to my sense. Just alil shopping for me. Been ages i last went out with this shopping partner of mine, Liana! Met with Farhan! Like finally eh dapat jumpe ni mamat! Okay i like him! WAIT! I like him as in his character. So sardine-dalam-tin like me! He can really entertain my nonsense. If he shoot me, i will definitely shoot him 10 times more.. so, i win! HAHA! Despite that, he also good in giving advices in everything. Like love, fashion life etc. Biasa la orang mature mah.. Opss ;D Thou just met him, i afraid i might annoys him.. coz sometimes my nonsense are too heavy to carry. Hehs! Hey, maybe we can go out again? Shopping? Boleh la mintak pendapat Han lagi mcm semalam. One funniest guy ah you! And Liana.. iam happy for you. Still, please don't forget what i've always remind you over and over again. Jatuh lau ade cushion tkpe jugak. Sedap sikit hehe! Sayang kau!   Then in the evening.. off to Esplanade! Weee.. watched performance from our Show Choir. And i shall say, it was a blast from the previous one. They said because he 'melted' me?? -_-'' CHET! But you ah boy, da la hot pastu cheeky pulak tu!! Eeeee... geramsssss aku! HAHA! [Ok, u looked great.. suke saya ;)] Show Choir did awesomely wonderful! And I was abit moved with I'll be there. You deserve a nice long break, i guess? HEHE! N I C E !  {Sunday, January 17, 2010 , 11:09:00 PM}     I rarely at home to be with my family.. and i got this feeling that i've upset Mummy, make her merajuk and all :( Tsk, iam sorry i love you alot! So, since Sunday = Family Day.. i decided to stay at home and interact more with them. Hehes! And what's more iam in a perfectly good mood liao! I seldom entertain brother okay. But today, i did! I'd helped him with his final year project. As you can see in the pictures above. Do the track then the thing (i don't know what it call) from mouse trap into to a car. HAHA! Then we played UNO Sacko! I won by 3-2. I should have bet him with something like ice cream. Hmph! Then, went woodlands with Mak in the evening. Just the two of us since Adik somehow busy with her friends for their school project. Hm baru start skola da de project. Pelik eh!? Nevermind her. Furthermore, it's been long time since i had chatting session with her anyway.. so it's good Adik wasn't with us. Prefect! Ahas! Update her about what am i doing now.. about my tight dance training for Warisan and italent competition.. and so on and forth. So at least, she know what her daughter is up to for now. Mak, nana sayannnggg mak sngt2! So far, everything is going well. School as always getting more hectic with assignments.. tests.. with dance training etc. No complains for dance side because i don't mind about the hectic-ness ;) But for study wise, iam little worried. Wrong! I mean alot alot worried! I get panic when i feel i way back from others and especially when i see the rest can do.. and i still can't EVEN start on it. Oh heaven.. please me.. push me in this! I keep asking Leana to push me but often, both of us will end up talking/sleeping/day dreaming HAHAH! One way: separate the both of us? No way! I seriously need someone or two in my studies. By giving me encouragement, support and push me all out. How???? {Saturday, January 16, 2010 , 1:57:00 AM}   And again, the cutest and romantic couple! In love with them! HAHAA! Have things to share over here, letting out what's on my mind now but perhaps, i shall keep it to myself or save it for next time maybe? Yea.. busy i guess hehe! Pardon me. Night! {Sunday, January 10, 2010 , 2:47:00 PM}    Aren't this two are one of the sweetest couple? And i love looking at them together. Compatible and perfect! Am i right? Heh! Efron good looking and Vanessa damn-bloody-gorgeous! Look! How sweet and romatic Efron can be. Aw, sweet boify and sweet moment :) Love Vanessa. Ever wished to be as pretty as her.. Opss! The way she is, simply adorable bubbly & beautiful. Envy with her hair! HAHA! Oh my! Iam so obsessed with her! {Saturday, January 9, 2010 , 10:33:00 PM} Your Love is Based on Friendship "For you, chemistry doesn't really happen without compatibility. Companionship and openness are the most important parts of your relationships. Whoever you love should be your best friend. And falling in love with a good friend is never out of the question. Why your love can last: You only fall for people who you truly understand... and who truly understand you. Why your love can fail: Sometimes you don't admit how important physical chemistry is to you." { , 12:06:00 AM}    5th Jan ; CCA fair Jan Intake 2010. I was unsure where the hell my confident and the excitement to dance gone to. Like serious shit! I swear i'd wished i could just skip our part and move on with other performances. I don't know what was very wrong with me. I was so stressed up. Came early morning just to practice and hoping my confident will come till we're done with our performance. But, sadly no. Due to this, i felt extremely ugly messy. Thus, not much pictures taken, esp my face! F-ugly i look! But received few comments, good ones. So i guess everything was okay laa at least and i also think actually i didn't cock up after all. Phew! Then some more kena interviewed. I just hate talking in front of the crowd. Paisey lerr! But just got to know from Harun, he was screaming my name at that time. I was surprised actually when he told me that. So unexpected but thankyou! And he compliment for my dance :) Ahahas! After which, when to help out my girls at the booth. The numbers of people signed up was okay. But will see how that numbers will stay hehes. Then we had another slot to perform at the indoor sport hall. By right, one item from each cca. But by left, Malay Dance did for 4 times? Betul nye enjoy eh kiteorang HAHA! People might see us making fool of ourselves. To me.. we're not. We enjoyed it so much! {Sunday, January 3, 2010 , 5:47:00 PM}  Finished reading this novel. Oh my, i want to read more of it! The ending is kind of shocked me to death but, maybe that's the only way for her own happiness. It gott me thinking that best friend can be your true love without you realising it. You never know who's your true love is evntho you're married to the person whom you thot the person of your life. The fact is, there's always someone out there who truly care & love for you beyond everything. Heart is something that hard to tell no matter how long you take and how deep your try to understand. Another fact, you just can never discover the real of it. There's never ending. How i wish to have my love life like fairytales too. I wish.. I love this novel! Thank you so much, Fliq! {Saturday, January 2, 2010 , 1:25:00 AM} Look at my End Of Year speech. Haha, so lengthy! I shouldn't have write everything and let the whole world know. But felt better. It came straight from my heart. That's only not even half of it. The rest i shall keep it somewhere. Private. End-ed my 2009 by accompanied Kassim, shopped for his shopping list and all covered. Then celebrated new year over at Sani's house but without Sani. Haha! Just that, i didn't get to watch fireworks like last year. Sadly, but it's okay! Indoor more relax and chill. We had Turkey and large Pizza! Yummy!! One craving down :) So, first day of 2010. A good start by spending time with family today. But, not so-good because my 'bestest friend' has come. Sibuk jer nak sambut new year jugak HAHA! Let's called it a rest day for me and also, i've inform Mak i'll be at home today. So, she must be happy that i fulfilled my promise :) Maybe i should put 'spending more time this year with family' as one of my new resolution? LOL. Eh wait, maybe i should you know because Mummy been nagging at me. She hardly see me staying at home even a day. Hm. Shall do something about this. Anymore resolutions? Yes, keep it simple. As usual, more love, happiness and do the last best i can in everything i'm doing. Hope everything go smoothly and blissful one. Do proud for my parents and be a better person/daughter/friend :D Lastly, strength to keep me strong. Night. { , 1:03:00 AM} Goodbye 2009. Awesome-ly had a wonderful year of 2009. I thank Allah for giving me the chance for my heart to beat. There's nothing as great as living this world with full of maze and love. For life wise. Life is very interesting.. in the end, some of your greatest pains becomes your greatest strengths. At times it keeps me wondering why people been stressin' so much, worryin for the wrongs. Like, not righting the wrongs and keep saying nightmares for the rest of their live. Yes, i do get mad over my past but i've been tryin to put it in positive way. As much as i try. Why not us take it as a lesson to learn. Instead of dwelling over it, be happy! Smile because it happened. Hey, your mistakes and past teaches you to be a wiser person. Through this, you get to see the true side of the person, who worth your trust and learn your inner-self. Too much thinking for past and future, we often side track, forgetting our NOW too. Apparently, regretting later is no point. You know all sort of things you should be doing, grabbing and treasure now but you're too busy in your own world and too concentrate speeding up for the future. I think, it's more than enough for us to at least, learn cherish what you have now because if you don't.. you will never appreciate your future. Remember you live once, not twice. You won't know how old your age can go. Treasure every moments, your life. After all, it's up to individual. To me, life may be sad but it's always beautiful. Don't you think so? Love. The truth is everyone gonna hurt you, but you just gotta find the one's worth suffering for. Everyone needs love and i love to be loved and in love. But im kind of girl who have difficulty saying 'i love you'. And if i do, means i really mean it. And it's been a long time since i say these words to someone special. 5 years of single hood teaches me zillions along the way. To be an independent person for sure. And another thing, trust. Don't ever try to abuse my trust, for even once. You'll have hell-time regaining it. But aside that, love often got me confused and complicated in a way too. The more the person convinced me he loves me, the more i get confused. Not with him but with myself. Actually, i've long to feel the love again but i just can't bear to let the heart to be hurt again. I afraid i won't be able to go through another pain. I ought to thank my last for all. Maybe part of loving is to let go. Nevertheless, I'm proud of myself to made it this far. The hatred and 2 years of healing this heart is sweet. No worries, all will be keep inside. You know sometimes somethings are just hard to forget. I still remember that dream of yours. You're very passionate on it since then. I salute you! You're on the path now and doing it well. I'm happy for you. Well wishes, my friend! For now, iam happy with the love i get thou i tend to get confused with myself every now and then. You know, i'm not that easy one. And that 5 years.. i becoming hardhearted girl, i guess. But gives me time. I'm sure we will get through together. I do need more of your faith and patience for me. Sorry to give you hard times but i won't blame you if things still doesn't go the way we wanted. If we are meant to be, we will. With Allah will. :) Friendship wise. Not knowing so much things happened. Friendship issues along the way. Nothing stay pretty you see. Ups and downs. And iam upset that i might unable to patch one of the friendship i've lost. Well, i hate when this have to be the ending. So much trying to prevent but maybe this the better way for him. But he did say hi to me in msn recently. Moving on. Frankly, iam receiving oh-so-much-good love from friends. Despite some might be such a hardheaded and egoist kind.. too hard for me to ditch them away. You know, i've been spending most of my time with them.. And just so they know, you mean the world to me than anything else. No matter how much they hurt me, these time we had, somehow, heal all the bitter moments away. Again they know, i really really really love you all. I swear for this. I really do! :) Importantly, my family. noway i can hate them in any way no mater how hard things can be. They are my heart, soul and life. I ♥ them to the bits!! In the end, we're all the same. 2009 taught me to be stronger. Learn to appreciate everyone. Let's put our bitter moments behind. Start counting our blessing. It's much more healthy :) Don't forget thank-ing those whom have help us during our pit falls, for sincerely be with us along the journey. Above all, we must never forget & thanks Allah for everything. Spread more love love love around in 2010! Allah blessed everyone :D |
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